Life is a process

Last night I made cards with Adrienne & her second madre. Some series of unfortunate events took place where Kristie was borrowing my car and it ran out of gas. No problem, right? Except I had given my word that I would fill the tank several days prior. I realized with frustration how my actions affect more than just me. The interdependence we all face just...almost bothers me. I want only MYSELF to suffer consequences if I do something wrong, but that's now how the world works. Every decision, large like or small like filling the tank of gas, will hurt or help more than just you.

Now onto the thought of "life is a process:" this whole card-making business. I LOVE it, for one.

For two, look at the first pic; the papers are just PAPERS. That isn't even the first step. You come from full sheets of papers, stamp 'em, glue 'em, do some more gluing, some more stamping... and vwalla!!

In the midst of this card-making, Kristie called me, rightly upset about the empty tank of gas and being stranded at work when she needed to be at a review session. I was (1) so upset with myself for my irresponsibility affecting other people and (2) upset with Kristie for depending on me to solve what I could probably justify as her problem. The night only got more complicated when Adrienne & I went to the car and filled it with Adrienne's gas can, but that didn't do the trick.

I wanted to be home--I was going to the movies with friends, and I didn't want to be late! Plus, that special heart thump-thump might be home! :)

The car still didn't start. I was with Adrienne on the "Abandon-ship" idea for tonight; push it into a parking spot and call it good. That didn't fly with Kristie, so after an hour of driving between Kristie, work, and the gas station, Frederick was back on the road, with a "Full" tank of gas. That is unusual to me.

Well, people bailed on the movie but I got a wonderful chat in for the night. As I was chatting with said friend (James), we talked about growing up: some people here at school say, "When I grow up, I'm going to...." he commented how he just looks at them and thinks, "Could you repeat that? When you grow up? Shouldn't you already be doing that?"... and it's true. We are growing up every minute; every day we are changing and not just becoming the person we "want to be," but we either are or we aren't. We won't reach one certain pinnacle in life where we shout, "I BECAME who I wanted to BECOME!!!" Life is a process, and we are always in the middle of it. We don't ever reach the end of this chain of events... so smile and love it!!!