Workin'

Work is a central part of my life. You might chuckle at this as you think of the Cecilly you know [and BETTER love!]: the lazy butt who wakes up at 8:15 for her 8:00 class, sleeps on the couch rather than cleaning the piles of books and clothes off her bed, leaves a trail of clothing after her as she changes, whose "Midas touch" turns everything she touches invisible, who can't be punctual if her life was on the line.

Despite these minor contradictions, I hold that work is important. Intellectual work. Sinere work.

Today on my mind was the oh-so-prevalent topic of love and the likes. I reached the conclusion that hobbies and personality interests alone could never be substantial enough: I need to be involved in similar work to the love of my life. (I love how cute & corny that sounds.) But really. What do I like, outside of what I'm majoring in and what work I want to do in life? I... kinda like board games. I want to run a traithlon. I...love school and learning. I love this "development" idea, and learning to capitalize on the opportunities it presents for growth for developing countries. That will be my job.

It scares me, yes. I'm scared to work. I'm scared because I really wonder if it is the right thing to do, or if I'm trying to convince myself it is because I don't want to be lazy. What would I love to do? Someday, distantly, I will love, adore to be a stay-at-home mom while my kids are young. Will I be a lazy butt? If you even dare to answer that in the affirmative, I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish. :)

Putting this in print is scary, but it solidifies my feelings. No taking it back. Now all 3 of my blog followers (yes, mom, you're my #1!) know. Yaaaaaaaay. (ACTUALLY, I'll have you know that this very blog has 13 followers. BAM. Miracle, I tell you. Miracle.)

Back to previous thought before my ranting about the epic-ness of blogging... I don't know how/if I want to work. I feel lazy for not wanting to, but I just feel inadequte in the business setting. I don't jive with that. Still, I enjoy it. I don't know if I'd be good at anything else. At least I'm decent with business, so... that works, right? I was in a group meeting today, and the boys were intense. I was left feeling very inferior and ignorant as they discussed management firms, stocks, etc. To me, that translated to: "Blah, blah, blah." Maybe I'm facing academic angst. Maybe I should've done IR when I had the chance.

Or maybe I did just what I should've and I'm here where I am for a reason.