everyday discoveries

minor change, but I changed the "name" of my blog (whatever that even means). it used to be "scuffed sneakers," but is now "everyday discoveries."

first off, welcome Andy to the blogging world! Kristie hopped on board last week, and lo and behold, boyfriends aren't too far behind. :) Love.
I've needed change. in fact, last night I wrote in my journal "Change Ahead," because I can feel it. I'm maturing. (wha??????) hard to believe, I know. but... it's happening. for realsies. (not even for fakes or for virtual). not too much, but it's-a-happenin'.

I got a major chunk of humble pie last night, and I'm still trying to swallow it: I was talking to Kristie Krist, and I realized that many dissatisfactions I'm feeling (work, club leadership, friendships, school) are from the same root problem:

......me......

it's a depressing realization. and I've now started to see: I have a bad attitude sometimes, such as about going to my apt. it doesn't feel like home, but only because I don't let it. my roommates are all sweethearts, but I just don't think they can top those I've had before. I'm not interested in getting to know people... it's weird. I'm weird.

Mom & I judged for DECA state yesterday, and so many memories came back. I remembered being that high schooler at a competition, hoping I'd make it to nationals with Adrienne & Kristie [since they always did]. As I judged yesterday, I looked at them and just wanted to teach them everything I've learned in the last 3 years at college. Oh, and I locked the keys in the car, what? [sorry, Adrienne]. But no worries, we got it unlocked!  

Mom came to P-town and we three girlies (Mom, Kristie, and I) partied it up with Hot Pots (Asian food). Having le madre over was sooo nice. then, Kristie Krist and I talked late into the night. that was the humbling convo. today mom, Kristie Krist and I had a splendid Costco shopping excursion full of yummy samples.

Mom busted out of town and we all split ways. I felt so blah. I went running, but seriously 3 minutes in I stopped and just made snowballs, trying to make motivation come. After Wake Forest, I've felt so disinterested being back to the humdrum of school. School isn't real. It's stagnant at times. I want to be presenting to real C-level execs! I want to be with a team doing something real, not sitting around talking. I dunno. something academic in me has snapped... uh oh. and everyone in the ward has made their groups. for some reason I want to run away far, far, far from them all.

I was in a kinda dissatisfied mood during my 2 hr.+ team meeting, but I determined to go to the temple today. I needed it.

More than I knew.

Being there... put my mind at ease. and made me so excited to go through to receive endowments! I am just antsy, but we've got to work through schedules, schedules, and more schedules. Ahh!! patience. :)
I was amazed how calmed I was. It was nice to just get away, set aside everything on my mind, and just relax. Realize how real serving a mission is. I will be a missionary!!! CrAzY!!!

that thought sustains me. oh, and terrifies me. :)