Week 78: Mile 23

On Saturday, a sister with whom I live, Sister Carpenter, gave me a note of encouragement. The envelope, made from magazines, said only: 

Mile 23.

That became inspirational. 

Just like in a marathon, Mile 23 means to keep pushing. 

I always thought that at this time of missionary service, I would feel like a pro, I would feel so excited to go back to life as I knew it.

But not so.

I probably have cried...every. day. For the last week. Or two. 

I feel like I`ll never be away from here... my heart could go on forever. 

Heavenly Father gave us a big Christmas present. Wrapped with love for a worried, stressed, stretched heart. 

This area has been very challenging. We are teaching promising people, but in moment it`s time to go to church, everything is yes, yes, yes, feeling the Spirit, yes..... right until 9:00 church time. 

After church, we visited an investigator who is... amazing. She didn`t show for church, as expected. As we taught of baptism, the spirit was soooo strong, we invited her for January, and she was very receptive, very sincere as she talked of her desire to change. Then, we verified that she was still going to attend the First Presidency Devotional, as she had also said she was going to do. 

Excuses, excuses, excuses came out.

We left, and I felt just... spent. What does Heavenly Father want us to learn here? Was all our work here really effective? We are working, improving, but... the fruits don`t show in church attendance, nor baptisms. 

I told Hermana Alfaro I just needed a minute. I sat on the curb and shed a few tears of frustration. Opened my scriptures, and opened right to Ether 3:4 ¨And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man¨ and...

3: 5 ¨Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power...¨ 

I offered the same plea. ¨ Heavenly Father, I know thou canst do this. This is for thy children---it has nothing to do with me.¨ 

He treated us.

A family we`ve been teaching for these last 3 weeks went to the Devotional. And another woman that we`ve recently started teaching.

God is merciful.

I love this work. 

Well.... here goes nothing....