musings

I've been reflecting how vastly different my life is here in my Chicago stay than it was in Provo. I'm so accustomed to the fast-paced, million-miles-an-hour lifestyle that it's difficult to just... relax. to have nothing on my agenda--nothing in stone, that is. sure, I have things I'd like to get done during the day, but it's different than school. and work. and extra-curricular, where everything felt like a necessity. I take a step back now and realize everything I thought was oh-so-important isn't as crucial to life as I thought. what I'm doing now--this is life. I think I've forgotten how to live it.

I have time to actually exercise. and hear the laughter of a little kid. and go out to eat. and take trips because I can. to stroll by the lakeside and soak in the busyness of our lives. to listen to my own thoughts buzzing around inside. I'd forgotten how it feels to just laugh my heart out because I so desperately want to--to not be so caught up in accomplishing the fifty bajillion item to-do list that a smile barely has room to creep in.

and it's got me thinking about the oh-so-distant future when I [someday] hope to have a family of my own. make real dinners. my very own house to clean, re-clean, and re-clean over and over again. and then [someday] little munchkins to chase around the house, on all fours and very likely in yoga pants all day every day. these are just dreams now, so far off I wonder when/if they'll happen. but man, it's a pleasant dream. all these thoughts from two little boys named Elliott and Piersen.