Monday, June 8, 2015

And the World Spins Madly On

"And the World Spins Madly On."

My internet connection name.
A new-found song discovered in Africa.
A great music video.
Also words describing my life.

A friend recently posted something on her facebook account which resonated with me. It was regarding a conversation that is sometimes difficult to have, I'll be honest: the ominous "s" word. Now, before you go thinking Cecilly has gone all crazy on you, it's not that bad of an "s" word, I promise:


On this touchy subject, said Facebook friend:

"Okay, here it goes. I know a lot of you have been wondering, so I'm here to answer the question you want to ask. Yes, {boy} and I broke up. And you know what? It's okay. We're both doing well, and we left on good terms. Some things are just not meant to be, and this was one of those things, and we both realized it. I would prefer not to retell what happened over and over again, so here's the deal. {Boy} and I got engaged, he backed out and we continued to date because we thought that maybe we just needed to take it slower. Well, we weren't progressing any further and we both knew we wouldn't, so we decided to just end the relationship. I really am doing fine, so please don't tell me how sorry you are. That won't help the situation, and it will just make me feel pathetic."

Especially the last part. "That won't help the situation, and it will just make me feel pathetic."

I felt that way just shy of a year ago. But, after many moments involving Taylor Swift songs, moments of hatred, moments of peace, moments of forgiveness, moments of solitude, moments of sadness, moments of bitterness, moments of healing, moments of hurt, moments of insecurity, moments of happiness, life has magically moved on. I have moved on. It was really hard. Sounds so dumb to say, but... whew... it was hard. Took an unexpected emotional toll.

Being single, I get self-conscious sometimes that people think there's something wrong with me. Believe me, I've wondered that, too. I watch friend after friend get engaged, married, start a family. Yes, I am so incredibly happy for them I can't contain it. I look at (....#stalk...*ahem*.....) engagement, wedding, and family pictures so delighted for them and so hopeful for that day when I get that opportunity. And yes, it's a little painful. Yet I am so thrilled for each of them, and wouldn't want to ever diminish their happiness in any sense.

But, especially in the last month or so, I have been increasingly grateful for this opportunity to be exactly where I am in life right now. I've been able to meet, know, serve, be served by so many people whose friendship I highly cherish. And were I in another type of relationship, those opportunities would not have presented themselves.

I trust in my Heavenly Father. He truly knows best, and I have no doubt He loves me. He loves each one of you, fellow blog-readers. It's amazing to think that our Father--the Father to our spirits--watches over us and cares so deeply about us. That truth gives purpose to my life. And I am so eternally grateful for Him, and for that truth.

...And the World Spins Madly On....

1 comment:

Kate Howell said...

Love you Cec - I'm sincerely admire you for verbalizing what so many single women go through (...what I've even been through in the past...) and am happy for the peace you have found. Thanks for sharing. I needed a reminder that it is our Heavenly Father in control and that He knows even when we don't. "And the world spins madly on"